Another rough day

Today Mom called me at work and told me they turned off the respirator and Aunt Gerry quietly passed away the doctor had told them that if she had continued to breath on her own that she would remained in a comma as she has been basically brain dead so it is had to say but it was for the better I could tell Mom was quit upset but I was at work so nothing I could do, after work I stopped and told her out for dinner to Monroe Hotel, her favorite place she had lasagna, her favorite,I had a meatball dinner it was great had to bring most of it home, so we talked for quite a while about Aunt Gerry and she began to feel better not much else I could do, The funeral is Saturday I hope I can get off work we run a skeleton crew on the weekends and there is already one machinist off on vacation so I hope I can get the day I will come up with something.

I never thought it would happen but I am more able to control my cravings for the evil cigarettes i still am not going to get over confident though I heard of many people who quit for months and go back to smoking I don’t want to do that I want to be a non smoker, several people at work told me they never thought they would see me quit i loved my cigarettes and smoked a lot, 2 other people at work bought the patch and tried it but could not even go 1 day they asked me how I did it and i said i guess i just smoked enough and it was my time I am tired of it I don’t know how i just don’t want to do it anymore I guess it just happens when it is time, wish i could help them but it is a personal decision it is just something I need to do..

Work is also looking better I saw several loads of logs in the yard this is good the lumber mill is picking up we haul logs in and haul out the finished lumber more the better just hope it continues am looking forward to a little overtime

Enjoy Life

Tim

Always Something

Yesterday i began to feel better my different meds were helping, Mom called and asked if I felt good enough to go pick up a couple end tables and coffee tables from her friends house that she bought for my daughter Kelly so i thought it may help to get out so I said Ok we went and took my old truck and loaded them up and took them to Kelly s house, I stopped and checked the mail and there was a book I had ordered and my new soap. So Mom wanted to make me some chicken noodle soup so I was all about that, an hour later she called and was crying and could not understand her so i rushed over and here My Aunt Gerry, (Mom’s Sister) was found unconscious half in bed and half out by my cousin Becky, they rushed her to the hospital and she is on a respirator and in a comma they don’t know what happened she was on a lot of medications as she had a hip replaced several months ago and never followed through with therapy she just laid in bed all day except to eat she gained a ton of weight so it is had to tell what exactly was the cause, so we went to the hospital to stay with her for a while for 3 hours she never responded there is no brain activity so I think they are planning on taking her off the respirator today if there is no improvement…so sad, I was not very close with Aunt Gerry I saw her maybe once per year and the last time I saw her it was obvious she was going downhill, another reason to quit smoking as she was a chain smoker don’t know if that had anything to do with it but you can bet it did not do her any good, we are just waiting now we said our good byes to her last night, Mom is taking it very hard..

Enjoy Life

Tim

Harsh Day

Our weather has improved but I have not I finally caught the bug that has been going around work I was a little sick yesterday but today i think I peaked I was so miserable my head was all stuffed up I had a headache and my damn nose ran all day i never imagined I had that much water in my head and it still has not stopped it was so bad that i had to roll up little pieces of paper towel and stick up my nose for it to stop long enough for me to call dispatch and make arraignments for the north power tonight, I went after work and bought some Coricidin Cold and flu but it has not helped yet but I have high hopes that I will feel better tomorrow at least I have 2 days off to recover, Saturday I had to send extra power North because the are starting to haul coal again 50 car loads had to go from Mosgrove to Buffalo this is good news coal is money for the railroad and that means continued work for me I hope it keeps up..

I am starting to not even think about smoking maybe because I am so sick but I realized today I did not even think about it so for that I am thankful maybe i can kick this thing easier that i thought today is day 20, a month ago I did not think I could go an hour without one..

the weather people are calling for snow Monday night into Tuesday but i don’t care at this point I have enough wood to last me another month I just have to work for it a little bit it is under a tarp beside my garage it is my back up supply it needs cut smaller and split but that is Ok at least I have it and plan on staying nice and toasty till it warms up, Oh My Harley started yesterday so I still need to clean it up and the first 70 degree day i will be out……….

Enjoy Life

Tim

Better Day

Today was a pretty good day work is slow so we just took our time on the locomotive we had in the shop and almost got it finished they claim that things will pick up before anybody will get laid off but who knows it is just day by day but i am not worried there are 5 Machinists under me in seniority so it will be Ok.

My cravings are getting milder however they are still there and i realize it has only been 16 days and I have a long way to go. my friend at work who quit Monday only made it to today I did not say a word to him as I know how difficult it is I have never been more determined to do something as I am to quit smoking, It helps to vent here I don’t like constantly talking about it to my friends at work so so here is where i will put my thoughts and rants about this evil habit that has such a strong hold on me..

Today was a really nice day at least after it quit raining so after work I got a lot of yard work done and got my porch all cleaned off it looks a lot better I am finally glad to see 60 degrees. Tomorrow I am going to my Niece’s Mother in Laws funeral she passed away Tuesday from Cancer so it was not a big shock she has been hanging on for a long time i guess from what I have been told that it is for the better her suffering is over, So Mom wants to go but she asked me to go with her so of course I am I was planning on going anyhow but this way she will feel better about it..

Ok getting late I am off to bed I have a safety committee meeting tomorrow I guess there was an injury in Warren today nothing real bad just someone hurt their knee I will be getting details tomorrow..

Enjoy Life

Tim