Ok so I had a weak moment and gave in well not a weak moment but an entire weak night, Saturday was the event at the casino in Erie that the company paid for and as i am not a big gambler I stopped at the bar with a co worker for a drink and there was an ashtray and people sitting at the bar smoking,(PA does not allow smoking in most public buildings except for casinos) too strong of a trigger i gave in, I so enjoyed it but am still paying for it had a headache all day yesterday i blame it on the overdose of vodka that still might have been some of it but it was the smoking i was sick all day yesterday I did not even stay there for breakfast i just wanted my couch so i came home to suffer, never again I am not liking the smell like I used to so I have not had one since and I think that was a losson to stay away from them my cravings are almost gone well still there but just not as strong I am controlling them better now….
I looked outside this morning and actually saw snow that is soo wrong but now it is almost gone i need spring my Harley is crying to get out and soon..
took Mom for lunch at Chili’s but brought most of it home I will take it for work tomorrow this will save me from going for grocerys today so i can just keep feeding logs into the fire
I don’t know who invented the cigarette but they did a good job of addicting people and keeping them there I am on day 4 and am still smoke free I have not noticed a difference but from what I have read the first day you stop your body begins to somewhat heal from the damage caused by smoking, I figured during my life so far I have smoked approximately 410,250 cigarettes LOL i have a lot more time on my hands to think about it, I think that is quite enough, I am determined, I still have a lot of triggers when I want a smoke but I fight through them it is not getting any easier but then again it has only been 4 days but it is my time I can’t wait to say it has been 4 weeks then I think I will be more sure I can do it right now it is still hour to hour and fighting the constant urge to light one up. I must do this I can do this. Some wise guy at work laid a cigarette on my lunch box at work don’t know why either to tease me or give me a little relief “been a little cranky” but i pitched it, I still have 1/2 a pack in my desk drawer and it has stayed there I don’t want to have to go back to day one it has been too hard getting this far.and i know if i smoke just one i am done……..
I got my remote start installed today they said 3 hours but they had it from 10:00 this morning till 5:00 but no big deal Mom and I went and did some shopping then i brought her home and was just lazy and did a little yard work till it began raining by then they had it done, it is really cool I love it and i can see how great it will be during the winter…
now for the big step, while I was in Mexico i brought home 4 cartons of cigarettes they were super cheap even after paying Texas tax on it so now I see the price has sky rocketted for them sooo I took the decision to try to quit beginning tomorrow I have many doubts about quitting how do you give up a 40 year old habit plus the nicotine addiction, at least i lost a lot of weight since getting my dentures i hear you gain weight during the process i don’t know if I can but i do know it is my time I am going to try the patch first to see how that works, I no longer want to be a slave to which will now be a $10.00 per day habit. i have not told anybody as if i fail i don’t want anybody to know I failed, I decided to keep record of my attempt and progress here, this way I can read back and maybe it will help to read my feelings, I have high hopes I am sure it will be for the better i know nothing good can come from smoking cigarettes only good can come from quitting. I know many people who attempted and failed I will keep this to myself untill I know if I can get a better grip on quitting than the grip smoking has on me
All is going well with me work is busy but no so that we can work overtime but that is Ok my budget is set up for a 40 hour paycheck so it is all good only one more day till my weekend, I might work Tuesday at work we had one year accident free so the company is sending us on a weekend in Erie we can chose 3 packages 1) indoor water park, 2) skiing package 3) casino package, I of course chose the casino package they are giving up $100.00 credit to gamble with, then the really nice awards dinner and then an overnight stay it is all a good package for the family I will just be going myself as usual but still it should be a good time especially if I win a little. it is the weekend of the 30th and since I am scheduled to work weekends I need to work 2 of my off days to make them up so maybe, However the weather people are calling for a beautiful day Tuesday so i will just wait and see……
I think winter is finally coming to an end Saturday it was actually 70 degrees reminded me of being in Mexico a couple weeks ago I have had my fill of cold weather it must be cause i am getting older but the cold weather this year has really got me down, but better days are ahead. I got my new truck, well not actually new it is a 2003 but low miles and runs great am happy with it.
Today is my Saturday so nice the weekend is finally here i need to visit the dentist office and then get a new key made for my truck I have to have it done at the Ford dealership because it needs a chip programmed into it, then Mom wants to buy me a remote start system for it but maybe next week i will get that installed so i will have that for next winter it will be so nice to start my truck from inside to warm it up for work in the morning, speaking of work, I am still working although freight has really slowed down no unusual with the economy the way it is I am just hoping it stays good enough to keep my employed but time will tell.
It is 7:20 and still dark outside hard to get used to but I really enjoy that longer daylight in the evening mornings don’t matter that much to me as I am at work anyhow but after work it will be better that is if it ever quits raining, I need to take the Harley out bad I charged the battery and cleaned all the winter crap off and polished it all up now I just beed a beautiful spring day to go for a ride..